Pregnancy and the postpartum period are times of incredible change, physically, emotionally, and mentally. You’ve entered a brand-new chapter in your life, one filled with love, learning, and sometimes, a little chaos. Your body is adjusting, your hormones are shifting, your routine is changing, and now there’s a tiny person who depends entirely on you.
With such big changes, it’s completely natural to feel overwhelmed at times. These experiences can take a toll on your mental health, no matter how “small” the changes may seem. But one thing is certain, you’re not the first, and you’re not alone.
Mood Swings
Mood swings are incredibly common during pregnancy, postpartum, and even during menstruation. They happen when emotions change quickly or feel more intense than usual. While hormones play a big part in this, mood swings can also stem from things like lack of sleep, changes in routine, or neglecting your own needs.
It’s important to care for yourself through these transitions so they feel a little smoother.
Ways to Support Yourself During Mood Swings
Take a walk to clear your mind. Fresh air and gentle movement can work wonders. If your baby has arrived, bring them along so you can both enjoy the change of scenery.
Seek support from loved ones. Whether you need someone to talk to, help with the baby, or just company over a cup of tea, reaching out makes a huge difference. Connection is one of the strongest protectors of mental health.
Create a little “you” space. It could be a cozy corner, a seat by a window, or a sunny spot outside. A quiet place to pause, breathe, and gather your thoughts can bring you back to centre.
Keep up with small acts of self-care. Taking a shower can feel like a luxury with a newborn, but it truly helps. Products like the Nuna Leaf Grow can be a lifesaver, let your baby gently sway while you take a few minutes to refresh. Do your skincare routine, put on a face mask, or spend 10 minutes doing a hobby you love. Even short moments of care help your mind reset. Remember, no matter what you are feeling, your emotions are valid. If your moods are starting to affect your daily life, please reach out to your doctor, midwife, or a mental health professional. Your wellbeing matters deeply, both for you and for your new little family.
Understanding Anxiety
Anxiety has been part of human life since our earliest ancestors. In prehistoric times, it was a survival mechanism helping people stay alert to dangers like predators or the risk of being left out of their group. This “fight, flight, or freeze” response kept them safe.
Today, we don’t face the same physical threats, but our brains still use the same alarm system. Instead of warning us about predators, anxiety now shows up in moments like worrying about parenting, work, or social situations, times when it may feel overwhelming or out of place.
Feeling anxious during pregnancy is completely normal. The “what ifs” and the doubts about being a good parent can feel heavy and persistent. Many people experience this, but it’s still something that’s often under-recognised.
There’s an important difference between feeling anxious and living with anxiety. Feeling anxious is a temporary and natural response; anxiety, on the other hand, is ongoing and can impact your daily life and wellbeing.
Common Symptoms of Anxiety
- Excessive worry about your baby’s health, birth, or your ability to parent
- Physical symptoms like sweating, shortness of breath, or difficulty sleeping
- Intrusive or distressing thoughts about your baby
- Irritability, restlessness, or difficulty focusing
These symptoms can affect sleep, appetite, and how you function day to day, sometimes even making it harder to bond with your baby.
If your anxiety feels overwhelming, please reach out for support. You do not need to face this alone.
Support in Aotearoa New Zealand
- Anxiety NZ: Call 0800 ANXIETY (0800 269 4389) or visit anxiety.org.nz
- PADA - Perinatal Anxiety & Depression Aotearoa: pada.nz for help specific to pregnancy, birth, and early parenting
- Need to Talk? Text or call 1737 anytime for free, confidential counselling; 1737.org.nz
For Māori whānau, resources like Te Whare Tapa Whā and Whānau Ora offer holistic, culturally grounded support; visit manamokopuna.org.nz.
For Pasifika families, PADA offers programmes such as Tama'ita'i Toa, and you can also explore stories like Sela’s Project: A Mother’s Cry at mentalhealth.org.nz.
Reaching out is a sign of strength, not weakness. Help is available, and you deserve support.
Postpartum Depression (PPD)
After giving birth, some people experience postpartum depression (PPD) or anxiety, sometimes weeks, months, or even years after their baby arrives. It’s something that has existed throughout human history, yet it’s still under-researched and often misunderstood.
If you’re experiencing symptoms of depression or anxiety, please know this is not your fault. These feelings do not define your worth or your ability to be a good parent.
Common Symptoms of PPD
- Persistent low or flat mood
- Frequent irritability or loss of interest in usual activities
- Changes in appetite or sleep
- Constant fatigue
- Trouble concentrating or making decisions
Some parents may also experience distressing intrusive thoughts about their baby. These can feel terrifying or shameful, but having these thoughts does not mean you want to harm your child. They are a symptom of your mental health, not a reflection of who you are.
If you’re struggling with these thoughts or any of the symptoms above, please reach out for help. You are not alone, and there is care available to support both you and your baby. In Aotearoa, you can find support and information through Healthify NZ’s Postnatal Depression.
Finding Your Balance Again
While pregnancy and postpartum can bring moments of uncertainty and emotional ups and downs, they also bring incredible growth, connection, and love. You are learning new things about yourself every single day, how strong you are, how deeply you can care, and how resilient the human heart can be.
Remember, there will be good days and harder ones, but none of them define you as a parent. The difficult moments will pass, and with time, support, and self-compassion, things will start to feel lighter again.
Be gentle with yourself. You are doing one of the most important and beautiful things in the world: nurturing life, both your baby’s and your own.
Take each day as it comes, celebrate the little victories, and remind yourself often: you’ve got this.
